Congruence: Goals for 2013

After a moderate amount of thought about the word resolution, I’ve decided that I prefer the term goal to talk about what I want to accomplish here. I think that’s more appropriate for me because it’s action oriented and not necessarily dependent on a new year beginning. I’ll be posting a short series on what my new goals are and how I’m going to implement them. This is the last in the series and I’ll be reflecting on being more transparent and congruent this year.

To a certain extent, I think I keep various aspects of my life separate. There are deep values that I hold that I don’t discuss or that I put off to the side sometimes because I don’t want to go out on a limb with whoever (friends, family, co-workers, etc.) it might be. I want to be more transparent with some of those aspects. This is both obvious and not so obvious. Right now these blog posts get shared to my tumblr and my twitter account but not to Facebook, I haven’t fully unpacked why that is (or if I should even change that) but it’s an obvious example. It’s also not so surface level, during conversations it’s about what I let go and what I engage with. I need to find a balance between having conversations to challenge people and understanding when to let things go because it won’t be an effective conversation. I also want to make sure I’m not rampaging through conversations with my privilege and my unending opinions.

I’ve also been thinking about how I’m working toward my long term goals. Is my lack of congruence and transparency holding me back from working toward the longer term? I figure it probably is because it doesn’t feel like I’m being authentic all the time when I

I talk a lot about equity and social justice being value. I’m openly critical of a lot of things that I perceive as racist, sexist, or heterosexist but not always when the conversations need to happen with people I love and care about because the conversations are harder with those people. That congruence will be tougher but I think it’s important.

I am who I am, there is no need to separate who I am from certain people. Way easier to say than to do so we’ll see how I do with this goal.